Saturday, July 26, 2008

Just call me 'reserved'.

I was writing a message to a friend... and a random thought came to mind that I've been wanting to talk about - and who better to tell than everyone and no one at the same time?

I am shy. Terribly self-conscious. Totally introverted. Entirely withdrawn.
Well, that was 6 years ago. The only people I was comfortable with were my sisters - I'd even stop talking when my parents came in the room. I could get going, around relatives and friends - when I forgot myself. :-)

Over the last few years, I've gradually gotten much more outgoing. I can make conversation pretty well. I like it!

But during the process, I was so frustrated with myself. If I knew I was going to have to talk to someone - when I was about to answer the phone, seeing someone coming toward me, when I was about to pass someone I knew - I would figure out in my head what I was going to say, and mentally repeat it over and over until it was perfect. Especially preparing for being judged at the 4-H fair!

And this drove me crazy. I was a freak. How many people have to practice saying, "Hi! How are you?"

This was about two years ago. And recently, I realized that as I practiced, and practiced, and practiced, making conversation came easier and easier. I had a lot of trouble talking to girls I knew. Old friends, new friends, acquaintances. And boys - oh, merciful heavens! I didn't talk to them at all! I generally avoided people I recognized - I didn't know what to say. Awkward!

Having a job helped more than I can say - I got the old "Hi, how are you?" routine down pat ;-)
And I dare say, talking to people on messenger helped, too. I learned how a conversation started, kept going, and ended. And I started practicing it in real life.

Well, now you know how I came from hearing, "Hi, Shy!" every Sunday to being friends with the janitor at the mall. :-)

1 comment:

Brianna said...

Hi Lexi.

I like this post!

I was the same way.
Except I kinda still am! Not as much as before though! :)

~Brianna