Saturday, May 24, 2008

Blah.... blah.... blah. More whining.

I suspect Paris Hilton wrote the script for the Hottie and the Nottie herself. UGH. DON'T WATCH IT!
And the Water Horse is... boring. I was hoping for a lot better.
Prince Caspian, however.... is AMAZING. It's fantastic! It's phenomenal! I was spellbound!

There are a few chick flicks I could just watch over and over and over and never tire of. She's The Man, John Tucker Must Die, and Stick It. And I got to watch Stick It last night. Lexi was happy :-D

I went to a wedding reception this afternoon, and got to catch up with my best friend. It was great :-) We haven't had a good heart-to-heart in quite awhile - the kind of talk where I go away thinking how GOOD it is to have friends, and how amazing it is that we have so much in common, and how well she understands me!

And I got into a good conversation with my mom and sisters about marriage. I personally find it disgusting that people would get married and actually wait more than a year before they decide to have a baby. I know, I know, I'm just naive and I don't unerstand these things very well.
They say, "Oh, WAIT to have a kid until you're married! It will totally take over your life!"
And that's true, of course. But then, to not start a family for awhile because you don't have the money, or the time isn't right, or whatever...
I know maybe 8 couples that are recently engaged or married, and most of them waited, or are waiting, a few years. Out of all of them, one couple has a little boy, and one has been expecting a baby since their first three months of marriage. And the guest of honor, the bride at this wedding reception, wondered if perhaps they'd been pushed it into early by their family. WHAT THE HECK?!

I guess it's every husband and wife's prerogative, but I don't like people telling me that after I've waited years and years for it to be 'okay' for me to have a baby (yes, I look forward to it more than I do nearly anything else. Same with being married in general.), I need to wait a few MORE years 'to get to know my husband', and to 'be prepared financially', and to 'have a good career', and to be 'mature enough'. Yuck!
I know all those things are necessary... but... but... ARGH!

Okay, I'm done now. The green-eyed monster has bitten again, and I need to write about something else. I kinda feel like crying now.
One last thing on that topic - I hate it when friendships become the 'older, more mature, married woman' and the 'young, clueless, silly girl'. Agjdkalfhdlajlfds. That's how I feel about that!

Oh wait. More things keep popping into my head... maybe I'm not done yet.

I know - it's ridiculous to be waning away, wishing for things that aren't (namely, being all grown up with the job I've dreamed of and a great husband and houseful of cute kids - and lots of nieces and nephews!). I ought to be thankful for where I am right now. But... where exactly am I?

I'm busy worrying myself sick about getting through my first year of college, having enough money to get through the next twelve months, hoping my parents make it financially, finding a job I like and a car to drive, and of course - finding a boyfriend ;-)
I'm trying to get through having a graduation and being in a wedding without being unable to eat for a week (can you tell I'm a wimp?), and trying to finish my application for a college that I'm terrified of going to, even though comfort and anti-homesickness-wise, I couldn't do much better.
There's nothing of importance in my life right now. I go out and visit the farm, I come home and sit on the computer, tan on the deck, and read. I talk with my sisters and friends. I play with the puppy. As of late, I go to work a few times a week and come home exhausted from standing around washing dishes and cleaning things and baking and scooping.
Maybe I could make things a whole lot more exciting, but I don't actually know if I want to.

And I'm having a really hard time convincing myself that life isn't going to be THAT much better when (or maybe 'if') someday God gives me that family, that job, and that husband.

I used to laugh at fellow teenagers who cried all the time, who 'struggled' with their future, who worried about even the next month. Not anymore. :-(

AHHHH! Why are all my posts so depressing? I guess I only post when I'm upset and having something to write about it. Well, here, I'll end it on a happy note. I think I'm finally going to get into a routine of eating healthy(er...) and *gasp* exercising. I've been riding my bike a few miles whenever I have a free evening, and running in the mornings when I get a chance. Working almost full-time for the last two weeks has screwed that up, but I'm DONE on Saturday! WOOHOO!

1 comment:

Andrew Clarke said...

Greetings, Lexi. You write an amazing blog! I want to read more. I'm a Christian too. My blog, if you want to read it, is http://threeswans.blogspot.com I agree with what you say about the evil of men mistreating women. Adam was given the COMPANIONSHIP and LOVE of Eve, not the right to mistreat her. He was given the care and protection of her, not the right to exploit her. Bad attitudes between the genders are one of the big wounds that satan (I won't give the thing a capital letter!) has inflicted on humanity. Despite being a complete stranger, I will pray God blesses you in giving you the things you hope for in life. Remember what the Word says: "Seek first the Kingdom of God, and all things will be added to you." I was going to say, if you like reading Christian novels, may I share about one to try? "Outcasts Of Skagaray" might appeal to you if you enjoyed some of Frank Peretti's titles. For a free preview, go to www.threeswans.com.au and see the sample chapters there.
I would love it if you read and enjoyed it, but in any event I greet you as one of my sisters in the Lord. Blessings.