So I'll stand, with arms high and heart abandoned...

I thought I would post quick, so my blog doesn't look like it DIED! I have been SO busy since I last posted! The last weekend has been campus days, so I'm short on sleep and have been having a great time meeting new people and taking pictures for yearbook!

It's still exhausting trying to deal with my roommate... but I've come to understand her better, so it's easier than it was before. Also, I had a major attitude adjustment last week, and that helped a lot. (Prayer is good. So is reading one's Bible!)

We sang the most amazing song in chapel yesterday - Before the Throne of God. It was BEAUTIFUL! And today we sang The Stand... I think that is definitely the current most powerful worship song existing, especially for people like myself! :-D
Anyway, I wanted to share the lyrics of both these songs, and then I'm going to sleep!

Before the throne of God above,

I have a strong, a perfect plea:

A great High Priest, whose name is Love,

Who ever lives and pleads for me.

My name is graven on his hands,

My name is written on his heart;

I know that while in heaven he stands

No tongue can bid me thence depart

No tongue can bid me thence depart.

When Satan tempts me to despair,

And tells me of the guilt within,

Upward I look, and see him there

Who made an end of all my sin.

Because a sinless Savior died,

My sinful soul is counted free;

For God, the Just, is satisfied

To look on Him and pardon me

To look on Him and pardon me

Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Praise the One, Risen Son of God!

Behold him there, the risen Lamb

My perfect, spotless righteousness,

The great unchangeable I am,

The King of glory and of grace!

One in himself, I cannot die

My soul is purchased by his blood

My life is hid with Christ on high,

With Christ, my Savior and my God

With Christ, my Savior and my God

You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I’ll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I’ll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours...

"This ain't no ordinary, this extraordinary love!"

I've returned to the land of winter. Who knew there was such a huge difference between Minnesota and NoDak? I wore flipflops all the way home, and then Dad coaxed me into putting my winter boots on. I wasn't happy, but as soon as I got outside, I was glad for them.

Right now, I'm watching a video of my second-youngest sister at about... seven months. Not a lot of dialogue, but it's sure cute :-) Good golly, I had a shrill laugh at two... even as aforementioned sister ripped chunks of my hair out. How odd.

I'm home until MONDAY! This is going to be a much-needed break. It felt like we were in the car forever today, and any moment I'm going to get a phone call, letting me know it's time to drive another hour to pick up a friend and bring her back here to town, where her parents will (hopefully) meet her.

The first week of spring semester was fantastic. Everything was going fabulous... and then I just had a two-week-long attack of PMS/TMBFF syndrome (too much BFF). The last two weeks have been rather hellish, and I seriously missed having my own room. Today went surprisingly well, however - I have high hopes for next week!

I have to say, I would not survive without my mother. I would flip my lid. I wish all teenage girls had such a wonderful mother as I.

I made lots of valentines today... I cut hearts out of pink cardstock and slapped on a sticker, a reference, a to-and-from, and of course the standard holiday greeting. I hope they are appreciated. :-)

Anyway, happy early V-day from this absurdly dressed child and myself!

Time... where did you go?

36 hours ago, I dyed my hair blond. Or rather, tried to. Then I tried again.

12 hours ago, I dyed it again.

4 hours ago, I dyed it a fourth time - this time, peanut butter chocolate mahogany, to conceal the yellow disaster. I have given up on being blond for the time being.

30 minutes from now, I will (hopefully) be sleeping.

10 hours from now, I will running around like a crazy girl finishing up packing. (I cannot forget my rice milk)

12 hours from now, I will be in church. (I definitely need it)

14 hours from now, I will be eating spaghetti at a school fundraiser. (Yay!)

16 hours from now, I will be on the road. (Watching HOUSE!)

19 hours from now, I will be be back at school! (cheers quietly)

Here's a picture my sister cute-ified of Lilo and I... :-)

We need JESUS!

This is an interesting post...
http://www.flowerdust.net/2009/01/21/why-is-being-gay-a-sin/

My sister is an AMAZING artist, if I do say so myself!

Fixing up Zelda... my first experience with a whole chicken (whole anything, for that matter)!

Trying to look picturesque...

A comic that I really liked...

Ten things I am thankful for tonight:

-I can download cool stuff off the internet

-A proposal I thought was far off in the distance... may be closer than I thought! (not for me, of course)

-I go back to school in just FOUR days!

-I'm not the least bit sick, and my allergies are really mild right now! (for the next four days, anyway)

-I'm almost done with my loong to-do list before I leave

-When aforementioned sister and I get in screaming fights, it doesn't take long before we are buddies again :-)

-God has plans for me to have hope and a future! The Most High has a purpose for ME, little old me!

-I have the nicest parents EVER! (to me, at least!)

-I finally got a song I've wanted for years... We Need Jesus by Petra!

-Tomorrow is another BEAUTIFUL DAY! Every day it gets lighter, earlier! Summer is in the future! WAHOO!

Now that put me in a FABULOUS mood!

The days are slipping away... way too fast!

This is good..

http://thedeb8withn8.blogspot.com/2009/01/from-john-piper-to-president-obama.html

And this is funny!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/picturegalleries/howaboutthat/4270990/Barack-Obamas-inauguration-in-Legoland-California.html#

.... and I'm not actually going to write anything because I'm so tired I might fall asleep going down the stairs. Good night.

I like coffee.

I found the PERFECT place for doing my devos this morning! Mom is always pushing the easy chair in the basement into my room when she needs space for her business, and I just leave in the way until I get around to pushing it back. But today I made room for it in the corner (By making a mess in the middle of my room... but oh well) and got cozy with my Bible and journal!

I have a new theory that my devotions go SO much better if I have caffeine in my system - I'm awake, alive, alert and enthusiastic!
I need to learn how to make coffee.

Anyway, I was reading this morning, and was struck by something in Matthew 25.

"When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on his right and
the goats on his left. Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,
I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these
brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Jesus didn't say, "Welcome! Good job, you went to church, took communion, got baptized, didn't drink, tithed, didn't get tattoos or other questionable art, never cheated, only told white lies and remembered your friends' birthday. Come on in!"

This passage tells me that doctrine doesn't have anywhere as much to do with salvation as I thought it did... whether or nor I take communion my whole life doesn't have much to do with where I stand in God's eyes, does it?

Hmm... I hate how when I try to write things down I totally lose my train of thought.

I get confused once I think about this too much... how does God view someone who really cares for people and has the heart of a servant, but a dirty mouth, or just-a-little-too-low tops, or a gossip problem?

I'm getting too tired to think straight... I'll ponder it some more in the morning - after my coffee. ;-)

This video is SO cute!

An Ode to Manwell Reyes

Manwell, oh Manwell, how lovely art thou?
Gorgeouser than Channing, Wentworth, and Will - ow, ow!
Your afro is fluffy, your tattoo is so Greek
Your rapping skills are (fo sho) anything but weak.
Grits is nice, T-Bone is fair
But Group 1 Crew is, like, WAY up there!
I see from #4 that you must get around
How does a North Dakota tour sound?
If you have any brothers, Let me know - I need two.
And if another fish joins my family,
We shall call him "Manwell", after you.

-http://www.group1crew.com/blogs/manwell/10-reasons-why-i%E2%80%99m-single



I'm defintely a fan of Group 1 Crew :-)

Ten things I did today:

1. Got to sleep in - hurray!
2. Got a sore throat. Laaame.
3. Missed youth group due to the lack of a working car. :-(
4. Hunted for jobs for my soon-to-be roommate and I... NOT fun!
5. Watched the first in the Chronicles of Riddick trilogy. Ick. It wasn't a terrible movie (I mean, it had Vin Diesel) but I REALLY don't care for movies with a lot of people-eating creatures.
6. Didn't get a stitch of work done on my quilt
7. FINALLY got all my pictures from December/January uploaded to Facebook... yay!
8. Explained to 'my' Azusa admissions counselor that I am NOT attending next year. I'm glad that's cleared up, so I'm not getting email and phone call reminders for the next three years...
9. Forgot to do the laundry like Mom asked... oops!
10. Not actually something I did today... we went to a UND basketball game last night. The guys won 84-78! It was a lot of fun - and we got to sit in the second row. It might be the only game I get to see this year, but I hope not. Maybe I can get home a few weekends this next semester!

Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain... Pinky and the Brain!

I am watching Season 1. I enjoy it.

Brain: "Pinky! PINKY!"

*crash*

Pinky: "Narf."

Brain: "What were you doing up there, Pinky?"

Pinky: "I was having a dally of a time cleaning the chimney, Brain."

Brain: "We don't have a chimney."

Pinky: "Oh, well, there you are, then."

Brain: "No, Pinky, there YOU are. I am absolutely nowhere near that vicinity. Have you ever thought, Pinky, why it is that we haven't yet succeeded in taking over the world?"

Pinky: "Oh, I know why, Brain - gremlins. Li'l sprookily sprites that confuse our brains and mix us up, always twi'dling their li'l fingers in our ears."

Brain: "An interesting point. But I've reviewed our past efforts, Pinky, turning the situations into numbers in an effort to locate the exact problem."

Pinky: "Oh, well, that sounds very.... NARF!"

Brain: "Yes, I'm sure it does. I've plotted the numbers and the result is quite interesting."

Pinky: "Eh, cadley, that looks like me, but flat!"

Brain: "It IS you, Pinky. My calculations show that YOU are the problem."

Pinky: *gulps* "Pinky?"

Brain: "Yes. Pinky. Scientifically speaking, it's because you are a spazzy, beetle-headed doofus with the intellect of a mule hoof that I have yet to conquer the world."

Pinky: "You're not gonna get rid of me, are you, Brain? I mean you, working as a single... look what happened to Jerry Lewis after he split with Dean. All that stuff in your hair!"

Brain: "Point taken. But fear not, I have another plan. Pinky, I am going to make you smart."

Pinky: "But... I don't understand, Brain."

Brain: "Exactly."

Somehow all that matters now is You are holy...

Mmm, I am very happy right now. I just had coffee, a spinach-and-broccoli frittata and a big piece of chocolate cake for lunch! (My diet is on hold until I leave in just TEN days!)

I had a busy weekend! My sisters, eight friends and I spent Saturday evening at a waterpark and then went out for pizza. Then we came back to the house and watched Kate & Leopold (cute movie!). On Sunday we went to the church where I go to youth group (my family goes to a different church) and I got to see quite a few people I knew. Afterwards Esther and I helped Jennie do her baby gift registry. Who knew that shopping for socks and breast pumps could be FUN??

Today I'm supposed to be finishing my quilt... Mom was going to get me started like, three hours ago, but she's still busy in the office. Hmm. Well, I'm not complaining... it means I get to sit on the computer longer :-)

I'm still really frustrated at my lack of closeness with God. I've figured that the remedy is spending MORE time with Him, not less. But that's hard. :-(
Some days I find the only way I can concentrate when praying is to turn the light off and lay on the floor. That worked for a few minutes. Then I fell asleep (I'm short 2 hours, okay?) and started dreaming about the three billy goats gruff... did you know they had a queen? ;-)

Anyway, even those few minutes were really encouraging. Isn't it so much easier to pray and read the Bible fervently and just have a more Christ-centered day when you feel like God is your best friend and you just CAN'T get enough of Him and you can't WAIT for tomorrow, just because Jesus is by your side?

Why can't I feel like that all the time? I haven't kept that feeling for more than a few hours since last summer! Is there an easy prescription? I wish...

I cry out to God Most High,

to God who fulfills His purpose for me.

Yeah!
Now Dad says Mom is ready... I'd better get moving. Later!

Current favorite song!

I wish I was more than a man.

Have you ever felt that way?

And if I had to tell you the truth,

I’m afraid I’d have to say

That after all I’ve done and failed to do

I feel like less than I was meant to be.
And what if I could fix myself?

Maybe then I could get free.

I could try to be somebody else

Who’s much better off than me.

But I need to remember this

That its when I’m at my weakest I can clearly see

He made the lame walk, and the dumb talk

And He opened blinded eyes to see

That the sun rises on His time,

yet He know our deepest desperate need.

And the world waits, while His heart aches,

To realize the dream.

I wonder what life would be like if we let Jesus live through you and me…

What if you could see yourself

through another pair of eyes?

And what if you could hear the truth,

instead of old familiar lies?

And what if you could feel inside

The power of the Hand that made the universe

You’d realize…..

All our hearts they burn within us.

All our lives we’ve longed for more.

So let us lay our lives before

The One who gave His life for us.

What Would Life Be Like - Big Daddy Weave

I'm back...

Yikes - forty-one days since my last post. And I've been drastically less busy since then!
Today two of my good friends came to town, and we hit DEB and Walmart. I wasn't planning to buy anything, but I ended up with a skirt and 2 shirts for $4.00! They have AMAZING sales going on right now!
At Walmart I got 'Knights' lip balm, from the high school near my house. Weird. And a face-waxing kit (just to clarify, I wanted it for my eyebrows). It works pretty well! I'm happy with the results, although I started yelling when I had my sister pull the wax off. OW.
Tonight I'm going to visit my old youth group, and take my sisters with me. I'm excited. :-D

On Saturday several of my closest friends are coming up! I can't WAIT! I haven't seen my friend Jennie since she found out she was pregnant - she has a bump now!

Well, I'm supposed to be peeling potatoes... time to go. I'll try to start updating every day now!

Happy thanksgiving!

I cannot WAIT for pumpkin pie tomorrow! *highlight of my thanksgiving*

I got home tonight... I've been sitting around watching TV all evening waiting for my family to get back from checking on the animals. I did get the dishwasher loaded and ran/walked 1.58 miles on the treadmill! So it wasn't a total loss.

Ahh.. I LOVE Carol of the Bells! I love being home! I love good food! I love my family! I love going to school with amazing people... and most of all, I love my JESUS! I had a long-put-off conversation with Him tonight. I listen to people tell about their spiritual life, and how awesome it is to spend time in prayer, and what a wonderful 'worship experience' they had in chapel, and I get so ENVIOUS! I'm lazy, and I put off my devotions, I put off talking to God, I put off getting right with Him... I end up feeling far away - which makes it so much easier to stumble. Maybe I can make a Thanksgiving day resolution to end this apostasy? (new word I learned at school! :-D)

Anyway, I rode home with two fantastic girls. Funnily enough, I met one five years ago and thought she was nice, and when I met her 'again' when school started, I decided I didn't care very much for her. How stupid am I? Now that I've gotten to know her better, she's my hero. When she has problems with the other girls, they no sooner leave the room than she gets on her knees. And even better - it makes things HAPPEN!

I want to be like that. Someday...

"Christmas dooooooooon't be late!"

I wrote this last night, and now I'm posting it:

I'm finally getting time to write! Tonight we have a Mission Meeting and a big meeting to plan for an upcoming banquet... I'm excited! But I have a few hours to spare, so I'm going to try and work on a couple of papers and catch up with a Certain Someone. :-)
Last night at devos, we a great guest speaker. She talked about Eve, and brought up something that has never in my life occurred to me!She pointed out that we need to know our weaknesses, and where we are most vulnerable to Satan's attacks, and make a plan of action to combat these weaknesses! (You can probably figure out where Eve messed up...)
I need to understand what my weaknesses are, and start making a stand against them. I struggle with gossiping, comparing myself, avoiding confrontation (something I worked on yesterday, which I'll tell about in a minute!), lusting, and wasting my time away dreaming about the future, particularly in regard to my future husband!
Definitely typical teenage girl struggles. Yet somehow, it has never occurred to me to specifically list ways I can avoid them.
-Shut up. When I open my mouth to start talking about someone, I need to just SHUT IT!

-TALK. At the same time, when something/someone bothers, I do everything I can to avoid talking to them about. I need to learn to talk to people about things - AND let it go, especially when it's not even something worth mentioning!

-TALK some more. I'm a big people-watcher. Instead of talking to the people around me, I'll stare at everyone going by and think of all the reasons I wish I was like them! Disgusting! I need to start paying attention to what's going on near me. I've wasted a lot of time that I could have used getting to know my classmates better!

-The next one is similiar... instead of reading a book or finding someone to hang out with, I'll curl up for a nap and instead of sleeping, try to decide what last names I like best with my first name. :-D I start daydreaming about being married and getting to have babies and end up cranky because I'm sick of NOT having those things!
Anyway... I'm going to try and find some verses to learn, and maybe I can begin to put to a halt to these things. I've improved a LOT since I was in middle school and guilty of those terrible habits almost 24/7, but I still have a long ways to go.
Yesterday I did one of the hardest things I've ever done, even though when I think about it, it wasn't THAT hard!My roommates and I met with our dorm head... we got several things talked over. I still plan on moving out, but at least I don't have to feel guilty for never talking to my roommate about her problems. I think she'd be very upset and hurt to come out of college and then have someone tell her that her personality needs major adjustments, and realize that we all kept our mouths shut.
I don't think she understood, though. Oh well. We're meeting again next week.
My mom is coming in two days! And my sisters! It's going to be a FABULOUS weekend!!!

*End post*

I am sad:

I have a fat lower lip, and I have no idea why. But it hurts!

I am wearing a poncho today, and although it's cute and soft and warm, it's SO AWKWARD! So I think it is going to the back of my closet.

I am HAPPY!

My mom and sisters are coming tomorrow!

Snow is here, really here, which means CHRISTMAS is coming!
The girls' dorm is hosting a banquet in just 6 days!

I had a cheesecake cup with blueberries last night!

Yeah... that's about it!

Here's my cute little cousins and I, 12 or 13 years ago. I'm the one in the cow outfit :-)

Fall is here!

Oh my goodness! The days are flying by!

So much stuff is going on... there's midterms this week, so I'm going to be busy studying for them. I started getting sick last night, so I don't feel very good today. In a bit I have to go work, and then I have a voice lesson, and then tonight we're off to church!

Tomorrow night I'm getting my hair cut.. yay!

I got a betta fish the other night... he is purple and blue and his name is Wentworth Alexander Cornelius Fernando the Violet! After Wentworth Miller, of course.

The Bible keeps getting more and more interesting to me... it is definitely true that once you train your mind to look for things, you can find more. I think I've finally reached that point, and when I start discussing the things I find with my roommates, I can often figure out an answer to my questions - or at least possibilities! I'm really excited with all I've been learning. There's so much stuff that I just can't believe I didn't know before - it's like, DUH!

Winter is coming - sad! When I go to breakfast in the dark every morning, the ground is all crunchy and a minty green color. I guess it's time to break out my favorite mittens :-)

It's Friday!

Yay! It's the weekend again! Tonight I'm going to my first Twins game.. so that should be fun :-)

This week I worked... helped out at the after school program at a church Tuesday and Thursday, and taught a class of little kids on Wednesday night at another church! Then on Sunday I'll be going to church elsewhere, and then visiting a youth group at a different church that afternoon.. wow!

Anyway... last night, one of the international students was telling us about a sermon she heard. And I'm sure it's really hard to translate a metaphor into a different language and have it make sense, but she did a great job! It was about how we need to turn on the light for people - when you've been in the dark and someone turns on the light, you squint and don't like it - it hurts! But it is, of course, good. Just like when you see the light of Jesus! I loved that.

So... we've been studying lots of interesting stuff in class, but I need to go get my clothes out of the dryer (I finally had two hours in my day to do laundry!) and then maybe do some actual work... haha.

Being sick stinks...

I'm still sick. I don't feel as rotten as I did on Friday, but this cold majorly stinks. And my roommates are gone, so I have nothing to do!

Time for an evening of online game-playing :-D

At least there's the Bible study tonight - I'm looking forward to that.

I went to Target yesterday to get cold medicine. They wouldn't sell it to me. I had to get my roommate to buy it - they didn't want to sell it to her, either, because she's not 21, but she got disgusted and demanded to know how they expected college students to get medicine. YEAH!

RIDICULOUS. Utterly ridiculous. What is this world coming to?

Let's see... I haven't really been learning anything from the Bible lately. Does that mean I'm just getting lazy? I think my spiritual, God-is-everything-I-need self went on vacation. What's that called again? I forget. Anyway, I'm thinking I should go spend some time with God, as long as I'm all alone. There's a reason for everything, right?

It's late.......

The last few days, I've been waking up at bizarre hours, getting dressed, and leaving my room before I realize it's wayyy too early to get up! The other day it was just after midnight... yeesh!

And I'm beginning to suspect that I have tonsillitis.. I'm gonna call my mom in the morning and see what she thinks. I feel so rotten!

Work is good... today I got to grade a verse quiz the seniors took :-D

And... I straightened a guy's hair. (It was much better curly!)

And I almost slept through supper.

And that was my day. It was not a particularly good one.

Busy busy busy!

I have a life! Wow! And the days are picking up speed... I hardly have time to breath from 6am-3pm most days - and I'm trying to work out volunteering at an after-school program 3 days a week!
I love it, though! I got the job, and it's great. I've been filing and sharpening pencils and sorting mail and doing inputting on the computer... exciting stuff! Lol, just kidding.

Some of my classes just keep getting more and more boring, and some keep getting better and better. I LOVE Youth Ministry, because it's the one that might actually help with whatever career I go into! Now I'm considering going to Northwestern or Bethel for a ministry degree... and as determined as I was to only come here one year, it looks like it might end up being 2!

I'm just not sure - I have kept coming back to social work as the career I want for about 6 years... now I'm starting to wonder again. Figuring out what God wants is hard!
At least I don't have to think about it until January.

Anyway, I got on the computer to do homework, and after an hour.... nothing done. So I'm gonna get to it!

Life is good...

Life is going great! I realized that a big reason I'm not homesick at all is because at home I was stressing out all the time - particularly over leaving for school - and now that I'm at school, I have nothing to worry about at all! This could end up being the best nine months of my life!

And God being God, he's taken care of every little detail :-) I wasn't planning to get a job, since I didn't have a car, but there is a strong possibility I'll be getting to work as an office assistant for a couple of hours every afternoon... I can't express how excited I am!!
My roommate and I are going to start having a game night every other Saturday... and if I do get this job, I can bring food! Which will in turn bring people! LoL.

We are also going to get fish, at some point.

Last night we headed off to a church to check out their Wednesday night activities... and the children's ministry director put us in charge of the 1st-3rd graders! They are so cute, and it's going to be a blast teaching them (I can't figure out how serving God and doing these things you're 'supposed' to do in the body of Christ can be so much FUN!).

The first night we just watched, though, and got to know them. And I am amazed at how much being involved in a children's summer ministry program taught me... I really don't want to go back to it, now that I've realized how strict and extreme the director is, and I was skeptical that those three summers had not really been all that good for me - but watching a middle school teacher try to keep these kids under control (it did not happen!) it suddenly clicked with me how much we were taught, especially with keeping little kids quiet and calm, making stories interesting for them, etc, etc. So I can't wait to try and put this stuff into practice!

We also dyed our hair last night... it was a good time.
The boy who sits next to me in class has a crush on me, and he's driving me nuts! He was ready to dig in my pockets to find my cell phone to play with today... I pulled it out as fast as I could and gave it to him!
I'm trying to figure out how to deal with him... he is just driving me crazy. I'm afraid I might explode by Halloween! :-P
Funnily enough, two years ago, this was the kind of guy I was totally interested in - funny and cute. Now I am just majorly annoyed. I joked to a girl in the same plight as me - with the same boy... - that we "gotta get boyfriends!" but then I realized that's probably not the answer (duh!). It most likely is not a good idea to get in a relationship within a month of starting Bible school!

So now I have to try and keep that mindset, and not be in a hurry. I feel really dumb, because I'm 'doing it again'! I promise God that 'this time' my heart is all His, and I'm going to be totally focused on serving him... and then WHOMP, I meet a few cute guys and my brain goes into "must find future husband!" mode. UGH!

There's one in particular I'm having a hard time not focusing on. Whenever I take a step back, I'm horrified - I haven't said more than a few words to this guy, and I'm reading into every time I make eye contact with him! I'm already getting way too emotionally involved, so I'm trying to figure out if I have to step away completely and avoid him, or if I can just work really hard at getting to know him and not daydreaming and make it work that way.

Aghhh... again, I'm making too big of a deal about this. Time to sit back and let God do things the way they ought to be done!

I'm back!

Hi again! It's been a few days. I started at AFLBS.. and as nervous as I was, I have been FINE. It's so weird! I love it here - I can't imagine being back home. I get along great with my roommates - they know half my life story by now! - and I've met TONS of people! I've gotten to talk - a little bit - to all my distant cousins, too, so I'm glad for that. It's funny how I've known of these people forever and now, almost two decades into my life, I'm finally getting to know them!

But most importantly - I've been learning SO MUCH from the Bible! I've never spent so much time or worked so hard at studying it - I've been spending several hours a day studying it and books about it, because I want to get all my assignments done and relax for the rest of the semester! And all the stories I heard when I was growing up are falling into place... it's amazing, now I finally understand how God brought Abraham to Canaan, and promised it to his descendants - and then did end up bringing the Israelites back there, just like he said he would!

I've also been learning about inductive study... tonight I just finished a book called "How to Study Your Bible" - or something like that - by Kay Arthur. It's GREAT! I went over 2 Peter the way she says to, and it made sooo much more sense - inductive study is about studying the Bible to learn what the author was trying to say, and why God wanted it in the Bible, and not studying it just to get whatever you need out of it.

Anyway... that about sums up my first week here. Maybe pictures later!